This Term’s Writing focus is Narrative

What we want to achieve is:

• Capture the audience’s attention by writing short stories, which are well crafted and interesting to read.
• Be able to critique a piece of writing (Give and receive advice in order to improve work) Communicate effectively as an advice giver

Today we looked at how we use words effectively to paint a picture in the readers mind. Changing and adapting our writing for greater effect.

Original

Tom stood at the top of the hill and looked down at the horsemen travelling along the road in the valley below.

Oscar’s Rewrite

The highwayman crouched nervously in the undergrowth poised to strike as his innocent victim passed by.

Henry’s Effective Feedback

Nice, detailed content – Excellent use of word like ‘nervously’ and ‘innocent victim’ Also the use of ‘undergrowth’ - It sets the scene really well with a few short words, He’s in the bush or forest, he is couched over and nervous. Well done Oscar!